Who’s Better Than Who? (Whom?)
In one of the most well-known episodes of All in the Family, Archie picks up Sammy Davis Jr. as a passenger in Archie’s part-time cab driving job. Davis forgets his briefcase and comes to Archie's house to retrieve it. After a series of clueless comments Davis spits this back at Archie, who claims he isn't prejudiced:
"…if you were prejudiced, you'd walk around thinking that you're better than anybody else in the world. But I can honestly say, after spending these marvelous moments
with you, you ain't better than anybody."
That's followed by the famous scene of Davis kissing Archie on his cheek with Archie giving a shocked expression.
I've remembered that quote more than the image because it's something that I have come across as a lawyer and otherwise over many years. Many people think they are better than others without realizing that success in this world involves many factors other than hard work, including one’s parents and of course race.
My favorite clueless person is someone whose snobbish "I'm better than you are attitude" has always haunted me. In my first job our law firm represented many upper-middle class and wealthy people for whom we handled routine legal matters and estate planning and tax returns. I remember one wealthy woman who had never worked a day in her life complaining about her tax bill and saying:
The working man has all the advantages. When he needs more money he asks his boss for a raise. Me, I have to live on my dividends and interest. And do you know
how much more I have to spend on gas for my boat!
I remember another privileged second-generation jerk who called me up and complained that when I sent him his tax return to sign, I forgot to include his W-2 forms. I checked and replied that he had never had a job.
Reaching way back into the 60’s I remember a “better than everyone” who wrote “No Dents or No Christmas Bonus” on his metal trash cans to show his superiority to hard working trashmen from who he was trying to protect this valuble possession.
Someone from the big screen was Scarlett Johansen’s character in Girl With a Pearl Earning. She was forced to take a job as a maid in Johannes Vermeer’s household where she was treated like dirt by everyone including Vermeer’s young son whose only accomplishment in his short life was being born well.
I've wondered how the three I’ve witnessed and others I have come across would have done had they been born under different circumstances. That's not to say that all similarly positioned people are the same. I've met many who understand that they had a head start, used it for the greater good and treated others with respect.
It's a question of character. I don't know where I heard it first, but one of the best ways to judge a person's character is by the way he/she treats a waiter or waitress. That goes for all economic classes!